HR Hates Me: A Manager’s Journey

Imagine you just got promoted to Operations Manager at TechCorp. Yay! You've got a fancy new title and a 3% raise without any of that pesky "training" nonsense. Who needs that when you have HR on speed dial, right?

Week 1: The Honeymoon Phase

Day one would be amazing! You'd have such a productive conversation with Jordan from HR about whether you could move your desk closer to the window. Sure, it would take forty-five minutes and three email follow-ups, but hey – that's what HR is for! Building relationships!

When your team member River asks for time off, you'd naturally call HR immediately. I mean, what if you said yes and accidentally broke some obscure federal law? Jordan would walk you through the entire PTO policy – twice – while you frantically took notes. River would seem a little confused about why a two-day vacation request required a conference call, but you're just being thorough.

Week 3: Growing Pains

Okay, so maybe calling HR about the office temperature would be a bit much. And perhaps Jordan's eye twitch when you asked about the proper protocol for birthday cake distribution would be telling. But you'd just be trying to be a good manager!

Picture this: you'd have to have a "difficult conversation" with Casey about project deadlines. Obviously, you'd schedule a three-way call with HR first to make sure you said everything correctly. Jordan would suggest you might want to, and I quote, "try having an actual conversation with your employee like a human being."

How rude! You ARE being human – a very cautious, policy-compliant human!

Week 5: The Reckoning

You'd think Jordan might be avoiding your calls. When you tried to discuss the proper procedure for approving lunch breaks (you can never be too careful!), you’re transferred to voicemail. Twice.

You would have your team's monthly one-on-ones scheduled, but you'd want to make sure you were asking the right questions, so you'd send Jordan a 47-point agenda for review. Jordan would respond with a single crying-laughing emoji. You wouldn't be sure what that means in HR terms, but it wouldn't seem positive.

Week 7: Rock Bottom

Imagine if the breaking point came when you called HR to ask if you could compliment someone's haircut without creating a hostile work environment. Jordan would actually laugh at you. Then say something about "common sense" and "basic human interaction skills" – concepts that were apparently not covered in your zero hours of management training.

Jordan would also mention that you'd contacted HR 47 times in six weeks. That would seem like a perfectly reasonable number to you, but Jordan's tone would suggest otherwise.

Week 8: The Epiphany

You know what? Maybe Jordan would be right. (You can't believe you'd be saying that.)

Picture yourself trying something revolutionary – you'd actually talk to your team. Like, have real conversations without a three-way call to HR. And guess what would happen? Nothing would explode! No lawsuits! No compliance violations!

River would appreciate getting quick approval for the sick day. You and Casey would work through her deadline issues with actual problem-solving instead of policy citations. You'd even successfully compliment Taylor's new glasses without consulting the employee handbook.

The Grand Finale: Wisdom at Last

It would turn out – and this might shock you – that HR is supposed to be a resource, not a crutch. Who knew? They're there for the big stuff, the complex legal questions, the actual policy interpretations. Not for holding your hand through every basic human interaction.

You'd still love Jordan (and hope your extension isn’t blocked), but you'd promise to only call for the important stuff now. Like when you need to fire someone, navigate a harassment complaint, or figure out what to do when an employee asks if they can bring their emotional support peacock to work.

Yes, that last one would actually happen. And yes, you'd call HR.

Some habits die hard.

You'd still be learning to be a manager, but you'd be down to only 3 HR calls per week. Jordan would consider this a victory because you got this!